Looks like it's that time again, a whopping 29 new cards since my last spoiler alert. So I'm gonna go ahead and do a quick rundown of what to look for in the new set.
#&%@ YOU #*&(@ WIZARDS %!#*@)$% JACE CAN %#&^ MY !@*# WITH A PASTRAMI SANDWICH AND A @^$# COOKIE!
Alright, my rant aside, let's get back to the new cards.
on: At the beginning of your upkeep, you may put a charge counter on target artifact.
Okay, that's not so broken. I can deal with that... I think. I mean, there's Everflowing Chalice and Eternity Vessel and the Trigons, and that's pretty much it so far, right? No big deal. It's not like they're reprinting Umezawa's Jitte.
Finally, a way for my Super Shock deck to deal with Bloodghasts without needing Brittle Effigies. This card makes me feel all warm and tingly inside. But I still can't forgive WotC. They have really gone too far this time.
Wait... what? Okay, I guess blue's not the only color gettin' a little lovin'. I guess now it's time for me to work on some kind of obscure combo that involves at least one green creature. I know it's there, just have to find it.
Alright, lemmie break this down for ya. He's a 7/7 for 5, and he kills you in two swings no matter what. And he deals damage in the form of -1/-1 counters, so regeneration and similar effects are completely irrelevant. The only downside is that creatures actually have wither against him. But who the hell cares? He's a five-mana green creature (so turn three) that kills Titans in combat. People up until now were questioning if infect would be prevalent in the upcoming set. Well, it appears you've just gotten your answer. Hell yes.
They might as well have called this card the embodiment of 4chan. I mean come on, we all know the jokes that'll be told over and over again at the local FNM. And you probably know who'll be telling them already too. I know I do (me).
But seriously, this guy is pretty impressive. It's just unfortunate that he exists at the same time that infect is gaining such strength. An extra point of power and he'd be a really effective Jace killer in the last set, but now his value is diminished even if he was a 5/3, or a 5/4 even. And I think you already know why...
*#$^ WIZARDS CAN $#&% A FORD PINTO WITH THEIR $(#* &#^$% AND LIKE IT!
...wow. Just... just wow. I'm really not sure what to say about this, I think it speaks for itself. Yet another blue planeswalker with a draw engine that puts your opponent on a turncount. at least this one has a color requirement of... oh wait, this guy runs on artifacts. the colors don't really matter much, as long as you have access to... blue. God, I want to punch something right now.
RRRRAGGGGHHH! Even chumpblocking will STILL give you ten poison counters instantly. That's just... that's just ANOTHER ridiculously valuable mythic. I can see both Summoning Trap, Grand Architect, etc etc decks that ramp into this guy and just win the game. And it looks like Valakut has another trick up its sleeve as well. VALAKUT. The one thing I hate in this format more than Jace. I have lost all respect for Maro, I'm sorry but it's true.
Oh thank the gods! I mean, it's wicked easy to kill, but it can't be spell pierced like Needle can either, so thank the Gods! I'm so sorry I ever doubted you Maro. Now just give me a colorless answer to the colossus and I'll have my faith restored in... wait a second. Brittle Effigy.
I love you, Maro!
Alright then, let's move on.
Wait... so, it's a colorless version of the blue leyline. Big whoop. Except, y'kno, he has flash himself, so after casting him at your opponent's end step you can follow up with yet another artifact. Or flash him in at EOT to do surprise lethal damage to someone with the new Tezzeret.
Alright, those are what I thought I'd give a mention this time. Come back soon! Your mom sure did.
-I just wanna throw a shoutout to the official Facebook group in the sidebar over there, which I'll use to post links to new articles and such. Be sure to join, and invite others who share a passion for the game as much as my passion is for your mother!-